Becoming a Dad!

Fatherhood

Four years ago I got married to an amazing woman who has blessed me in so many ways that it overwhelms me.  However, nine months ago she gave me the best present a man could ask for and we were lucky enough to become proud parents to a gorgeous baby boy whom we named Joash John William Lines. 

I've learnt a lot in those nine months, from how to change a nappy, to what different cries mean, but I wanted to blog on three things I think every man should know before they venture into fatherhood.

 1. You have to become self-LESS

Before Joash was born I thought I was quite a well-balanced and servant hearted kind of guy…but post Joash being born I realised just how wrong my self-analysis was!!

I think we live in a fairly selfish world…consider social networking for a minute. I have been researching the meteoric rise of social networking in the last few days and have come to the conclusion that it has simply itched where we are scratching:

Facebook is simply me telling the world about me; Twitter is about me telling the world what I'm thinking and Instagram is simply me showing the world what I'm doing! 

Take one look at our society and we realise that we’re all (self-included) a lot more self-seeking that we might have first thought…a look at the banking crisis, the increase in abortion rates and the decrease in marriage rates confirm my thinking.

Becoming a dad helped me to realise this but it is also causing me to change my ways as I can no longer just drop everything and do what I want.  Of course this is what marriage is actually all about…laying aside your own desires for the benefit of another and I can’t help but realise that this is what parenthood is about too.  Joash is completely dependent on Amy and I, and relies on us choosing him and his needs over our own.

2. You need bags of energy

I’m a fairly fit guy…I run regularly…I play sport…I try to eat and drink right…yet becoming a dad has completely wiped me out at times!  Not just physically but emotionally too! 

After a while, getting up three times during the night takes its toll…there’s a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique!!  But it’s not just the lack of sleep…when Joash is awake he’s incredibly active and Amy and I spend most of our time chasing after him, pulling things out of his mouth that he shouldn’t be eating or changing his nappy!!  It’s constant! 

Remove the physical tiredness for a minute though and consider the emotional tiredness.  Joash is pretty good at giving cuddles, but 90% of his time is about taking!! He hasn’t quite mastered how to do the chores yet; wash the car, put the washing on or tidy the mess he’s just created in the living room!  But he is very good at requiring all your energy to figure out what he wants, when he wants it and how he wants it done!!

This is why I have huge respect for all mums out there!!  Amy is around Joash 24 hours a day, seven days a week…this means that she is on the go all the time, again not just physically but emotionally too.

As parents we both need to work harder at getting time to refresh and refill our tanks.

3.    It’s all completely worth it!

People often ask me how being a dad is and I quite often start off with a negative…in fact just as I have done in this blog post, and Amy quite rightly corrects me!  Being a dad is hard work, it is tiring, it does cause you to put your own needs further down the pecking order…but I cannot stress this enough:  I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Being a dad really is the most rewarding, exhilarating, exciting and special job I have ever had the privilege of doing.  It might not always be that easy but it’s true.

Just last night Joash woke up at 4am…yes 4am!!  Rather than him wanting a quick cuddle and his dummy, he wanted to get up!!  As I was holding him I was overwhelmed just how amazing he is and just how blessed I am.  I appreciate that there are many people, (some who are very close friends of mine) who want children but can’t have them.  It reminds me that children are a blessing…not an inconvenience, even if they do wake you up at silly o’clock.

As I was holding Joash I was also reminded that there is a God in heaven who loves me and you.  He is the ultimate and perfect Father and loves to hold us, enjoys being with us and has made a way for us to come into relationship with Him through His own son, Jesus Christ.

For me, I want to be the best dad I can possibly be and although I no longer have an earthly dad to look to for help and advice, I do have the most amazing Dad in heaven that I can look to and learn from as I continue along this journey of parenthood.

Whilst I thank God every day for the amazing blessing that Joash is to Amy and I…I also pray for more energy and a less selfish heart!

www.Goddle.com

If you could ask God one question what would it be?

I read an article today that told the story of a 6 year who wrote a letter to God asking Him how he was invented.  The letter found its way (via school teachers and parents) to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams who answered the question extremely well.  He explained that no one actually invented God but rather people have and still do discover Him through such things as nature, prayer, inner peace and through the person of Jesus Christ.

This got me thinking – what would I ask God? 

In Acts 15 we read about the Apostles and Elders coming together at Jerusalem to discuss the importance, if any, of circumcision.  What we can draw from this account is that it is good and right to ask questions and have in-depth discussions about subjects we might not fully understand.  Jesus Himself never ran away from a good discussion or argument and probably asked more questions than anyone else in the Bible.

There will always be things in this life that we don’t understand – if you have a faith or not, and the Bible, like the aforementioned article, encourages us to ask those tough questions.  I think it’s very easy for us to ignore our questions and doubts even though this can be unhelpful.

So…What would you ask God?  You never know He might just give you an answer.

Is God angry?

I work for Bishops Stortford Community Church and so almost every Sunday morning, that is where you will find me.  However recently I had a week off and so had the privilege of visiting one of the other congregations in the town.

I enjoyed the service, and the change was nice even though it was not the flavour of church I would like on a regular basis.  In fact it made me even more grateful for my community at BSCC. 

So why am I telling you this?  Well something during the service, if I’m honest, disturbed me.  One of the prayers that were said went like this:

“…we acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, which we from time to time most grievously have committed, by thought, word and deed, against thy Divine Majesty, provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us…”

When I read this I was pretty shocked.  If we have accepted Jesus into our lives and tasted true salvation by confessing with our mouths and believing in our hearts (Romans 10) then does God still get angry with us?  When we as Christians sin, which we all do (1 John 1:8-9) then does God turn into an angry and aggressive Dad looking to punish at every slip?!

The Bible is pretty clear: we are to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and might (Duet 6:5), but the truth is that we have all love other things more than God.  This is what sin is…it is dishonouring God by loving other things over Him and acting on those preferences.  That’s why the Bible says that all have sinned and fall short of His glory (Romans 3:23).  Sin defames God and He can’t simply sweep it under the carpet and ultimately because He is a just God, our sins need to be dealt with…punished and corrected.

But the love of God offers us a solution in the very person of Jesus, for He came into this world and took the punishment that we deserved.  When Jesus died on the cross, He absorbed the wrath of God (Romans 3:25) and He took the punishment that needed to be paid because of our failings (Galatians 3:13).

So is God angry with us?  If you have accepted Jesus into your life then quite clearly: No.  Jesus ABSORDED the wrath of God, He didn’t just cancel it or divert it (1 John 4:10), He took it.  The fullness of God’s wrath was completely put on Jesus so that you and I might know His love, compassion and mercy so that we never need to come to Him fearing punishment or rejection.

So...don't give into the lie that God is angry.  As Thomas Paine says 'Belief in an angry God makes a cruel man.'

Unity is more important than theology!

HTB Leadership conference 2012

I spent Monday and Tuesday this week at the Royal Albert Hall…no not to listen to Opera or to attend some fancy award ceremony but rather to worship God and be equipped to go and build His Church in this country.

Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB) hosted and led their annual Leadership Conference at this extraordinary venue and I was one of 4,300 delegates booked in.  These delegates came from over 900 difference churches and organisations and from 52 different countries.  How fitting that a conference about building the Church of God was attended by such a beautiful picture of what the Church is meant to be.  

As I’ve reflected on the conference, I think I can honestly say that this has been one of the most powerful conferences I’ve ever been too.  The calibre of speakers (Tony Blair, The Bishop of London, Christine Cain, Dr Rick Warren, Judah Smith…) was outstanding, the organisation was excellent, the content and topics were prophetic and inspired and as already said the venue couldn’t have been better.

However what made it so special for me was the diversity of the whole event, which was beautiful and yet uncompromising!   Theological differences weren’t issues as brothers and sisters in Christ came together with one purpose: to honour God.  For two days it didn’t matter what I thought about baptism in the Holy Spirit or church structure.  It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a dog collar on nor did it matter how I prayed!  It was such a refreshing and freeing environment to be in.

This is my dream for the Church.  That we might be united in the truest sense of the word.  That, as Jesus prayed in John 13, we would be one with each other as He is One with the Father.  That we would realise that unity is more important than Theology (Mark 13:24-25).  That we would understand that it’s ok to disagree with one another and still worship the same God in the same building!

I feel equipped, challenged and changed by this conference and I'm so grateful to God that HTB were able to host and led such a historic event. 

So…please let me encourage you:  Get booked in for HTB Leadership conference 2013!  More information can be found at http://leadershipconference.htb.org.uk/

Newfrontiers article

This year we're looking to launch an exciting project in our Town Centre (I will be posting more about the project in the coming months).  Attached is a link to an article I have written for the Newfrontiers (the family of churches we're part of) website asking for help and support!  Why not give it a read...


http://newfrontiersuk.org/news-and-events/article/bishops_stortford

Making a difference

Film Review: Freedom writers

I watched this film last night with Amy (my wife) and wanted to quickly blog on it.

'Freedom Writers' is a true story about how one woman made a difference.  Erin Gruwell (Hilary Swank) takes a job teaching inner-city kids raised on drive-by shootings and huge racial divides in the midst of the L.A riots.  As people around her, including her husband and father, tell her that these kids are 'unteachable' she makes a difference and helps them to reclaim their lives and identities.  It's a powerful film of how one person really can make a difference.

Two things really stood out for me in the film:

Firstly, being a pioneer means sacrifice
Erin Gruwell, or Mrs G as she was affectionately called by her class, wanted to make an impact.  She wanted to change the lives of 30 young men and women and in order to do this is meant working long hours, taking three jobs and selflessly putting her own desires to one side.  For her it cost her her reputation, her time, her energy and her relationships with those closest to her.

As I watched and reflected it made me think of other pionners; Mandela, Wilberforce, Luther King, and how they had to make huge sacrifices in their lives.  Mandela was impriosoned for over 30 years, Wilberforce battled through sickness and huge opposition and of course King was assasinated.

Secondly it reminded me that people don't like change
Whenever you see a pioneer you always see opposition.  Trying to make an impact is never easy.  Mrs G didn't have the support of her family, of the other teachers at the school or of the parents of the kids she was teaching.  Ultimately this is why people like Mandela spent years behind bars and King was murdered.

Mrs G was swimming against the tide but rather than giving in, she fought.  She did something about her situation rather than letting her situation dictate her life.  She refused to settle for something that wasn't right.  She did something that has changed the lives of 30 young people, something that can never be taken away, something lasting that they will always have.  She believed in them and gave them hope and a future. 

She sacrificed and refused to give into the opposition.

It got me thinking...what's the story I'm writing? 

If there was to be a film made about my life what would the morale of the story be?  Would there be people lined up saying 'this man has changed my life?'  I desperately want to change this world for the better.  I want to be someone who breaks new ground; someone who breaks the mould and someone who doens't allow the circumstances around me dictate how I live my life.

So the questions I find asking myself are: Am I willing to pay the price, whether it be time, money or reputation?  And am I willing to stand in the face of oppostion and see the obstacles as opportunites for something great?

The question is are you? 

It's a great film that I'd highly recommend and f you want to get it, just click here!

Seven tips for better Bible study

Mark Driscoll has posted seven tips for better Bible reading (link below).  I think it's excellent and if you want to read the Bible for all it's worth you should check it out!

Here is my favourite tip: Don’t think you need more knowledge. Often you need more obedience to the knowledge you already have!

Happy reading.

http://pastormark.tv/2012/04/17/7-tips-for-better-bible-study