Becoming a Dad!

Fatherhood

Four years ago I got married to an amazing woman who has blessed me in so many ways that it overwhelms me.  However, nine months ago she gave me the best present a man could ask for and we were lucky enough to become proud parents to a gorgeous baby boy whom we named Joash John William Lines. 

I've learnt a lot in those nine months, from how to change a nappy, to what different cries mean, but I wanted to blog on three things I think every man should know before they venture into fatherhood.

 1. You have to become self-LESS

Before Joash was born I thought I was quite a well-balanced and servant hearted kind of guy…but post Joash being born I realised just how wrong my self-analysis was!!

I think we live in a fairly selfish world…consider social networking for a minute. I have been researching the meteoric rise of social networking in the last few days and have come to the conclusion that it has simply itched where we are scratching:

Facebook is simply me telling the world about me; Twitter is about me telling the world what I'm thinking and Instagram is simply me showing the world what I'm doing! 

Take one look at our society and we realise that we’re all (self-included) a lot more self-seeking that we might have first thought…a look at the banking crisis, the increase in abortion rates and the decrease in marriage rates confirm my thinking.

Becoming a dad helped me to realise this but it is also causing me to change my ways as I can no longer just drop everything and do what I want.  Of course this is what marriage is actually all about…laying aside your own desires for the benefit of another and I can’t help but realise that this is what parenthood is about too.  Joash is completely dependent on Amy and I, and relies on us choosing him and his needs over our own.

2. You need bags of energy

I’m a fairly fit guy…I run regularly…I play sport…I try to eat and drink right…yet becoming a dad has completely wiped me out at times!  Not just physically but emotionally too! 

After a while, getting up three times during the night takes its toll…there’s a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique!!  But it’s not just the lack of sleep…when Joash is awake he’s incredibly active and Amy and I spend most of our time chasing after him, pulling things out of his mouth that he shouldn’t be eating or changing his nappy!!  It’s constant! 

Remove the physical tiredness for a minute though and consider the emotional tiredness.  Joash is pretty good at giving cuddles, but 90% of his time is about taking!! He hasn’t quite mastered how to do the chores yet; wash the car, put the washing on or tidy the mess he’s just created in the living room!  But he is very good at requiring all your energy to figure out what he wants, when he wants it and how he wants it done!!

This is why I have huge respect for all mums out there!!  Amy is around Joash 24 hours a day, seven days a week…this means that she is on the go all the time, again not just physically but emotionally too.

As parents we both need to work harder at getting time to refresh and refill our tanks.

3.    It’s all completely worth it!

People often ask me how being a dad is and I quite often start off with a negative…in fact just as I have done in this blog post, and Amy quite rightly corrects me!  Being a dad is hard work, it is tiring, it does cause you to put your own needs further down the pecking order…but I cannot stress this enough:  I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Being a dad really is the most rewarding, exhilarating, exciting and special job I have ever had the privilege of doing.  It might not always be that easy but it’s true.

Just last night Joash woke up at 4am…yes 4am!!  Rather than him wanting a quick cuddle and his dummy, he wanted to get up!!  As I was holding him I was overwhelmed just how amazing he is and just how blessed I am.  I appreciate that there are many people, (some who are very close friends of mine) who want children but can’t have them.  It reminds me that children are a blessing…not an inconvenience, even if they do wake you up at silly o’clock.

As I was holding Joash I was also reminded that there is a God in heaven who loves me and you.  He is the ultimate and perfect Father and loves to hold us, enjoys being with us and has made a way for us to come into relationship with Him through His own son, Jesus Christ.

For me, I want to be the best dad I can possibly be and although I no longer have an earthly dad to look to for help and advice, I do have the most amazing Dad in heaven that I can look to and learn from as I continue along this journey of parenthood.

Whilst I thank God every day for the amazing blessing that Joash is to Amy and I…I also pray for more energy and a less selfish heart!