The most selfish person I know!

In my blog entitled ‘Pinky and the Brain’ I spoke of the three main purposes of the Church; to worship God, to bless the believer and to serve this lost and broken world.  I’ve been stirred to ask myself ‘how am I fulfilling the purposes to which I have been called to?’  Today I want to look at my Worship life:

Worship is everywhere and everyone worships.  When I became a Christian in  2002, I made a commitment to God that I would choose to worship Him before all other things, for this is simply what worship is.  To lift someone or something up, to adore and honour them and to put the person or object before yourself in full devotion.  People worship money, career, sex, drink, sport, their families or a mixture of them all!  In fact anything can become an object of worship; even cows!

 In November 2011 my son Joash Lines was born, a moment that has and is changing my life.  Not just in terms of what I do and how I spend my time but he’s also taught me a lot about myself.  Since he’s been born I’ve realised that I actually worship myself much more than I thought.  I’ve realised just how selfish I am.  It’s been incredible to see my response (albeit internally) when he needs a nappy change at three in the morning, or when the house needs tidying, or when there’s something I have to give up for the benefit of my family.

It’s hard work being a dad, husband, employee, brother, friend and son.  A lot of my time is no longer my own and when the time that is my own gets infringed upon, how do I respond?  I often get grumpy, bitter and annoyed at those doing the infringing!  I think that I should be number one, that I'm the most important person in the world and that my time should reflect this!  I get frustrated that I have to do something I don't want to do!  I lift myself up and evelate my own feelings and opinions to a point of honour and praise!  'I know best...' I tell myself.  I think 'I deserve to be selfish.'

So how’s my worship life?  How am I doing when fulfilling the first and greatest command given to the church (Matthew 26:36-40)?  Not very well!  Of course we’re all on a journey and Joash has nudged me a bit further along on that journey, but what I’ve come to realise is that the god of self is rife in our society. 

In my opinion this is the main reason abortions are on the increase and marriage is on the decrease; because both require a self-sacrifice.  Both require us to give something up and our culture teaches us that this is wrong and a sign of weakness.

My prayer daily is that God would give me the grace, energy and strength to worship Him and not myself and my worship is fueled by the truth that Jesus didn't worship Himself but chose to humble Himself and exalt and honour the Fathers (Luke 22:42).  There are so many good things in this world and I want to make sure that I get them in the right context.  I want to make sure that I put God first and everything else second.