It's been a while!

It's definitely been too long and definitely time to write a new blog post!

In between having babies and launching new charities, Amy and I haven't had much spare time but seeing as we love to watch a good movie, last week we rented ‘Parental Guidance’ with Billy Crystal.  

The film is about a father’s strained relationship with his daughter and his grandchildren.  It was a good film.  We laughed out a loud a few times and thought it was worth the £3 rental we paid for it.

Although it was said to be a comedy (which it was) the defining moment of the film had Amy and in tears of emotion.  As the film progressed what we saw was that Billy Crystal (the struggling father and grand father) was actually from a broken and hurting home where he failed to receive the unconditional love that he needed.  This in turn affected the way he parented his own daughter and grandchildren.

It got me thinking about how I parent my own two children.

I’ve been reading a book called ‘The emotionally healthy church’ which is all about how to maintain your emotional health.  Two years ago I probably wouldn’t have realized the need for me to give my time to such a book but having kids has challenged and changed my view on this.

I firmly believe that we teach those around us what we know but we reproduce what we are. 

I want to do the very best by my wife, son and daughter.  I want to set them the best example that I possible can.  I want to grow and develop a wonderful and beautiful relationship with all of them.  I want to extent unconditional love, be honest with them and treat them with the respect and honour they deserve.  Outside of the home I want to lead well in areas of church and work and set a great example to friends and family.

I believe that in order to be the most completely father, husband, friend, employee, son and brother I can be, I need to first take care of my own health and especially my emotional health.  I’m even starting to come around to the thinking that our emotional health affects far more of our lives, actions and choices than our physical, mental and possibly even our spiritual health.

So, how are you doing emotionally? 

MONEYBALL!

I watched a film recently called:  MONEYBALL; a sports drama based on a true story starring Brad Pitt (Billy Beane) as head coach of a Major League Baseball team the Oakland Athletics.  Pitt’s job was to try and be as successful as possible on the smallest budget possible and the film shows us his journey as he attempts to reinvent the way Baseball teams are managed and coached.

The film gripped me for two reasons:  I love sports dramas and I love true stories about hard working pioneers!

A pioneer is a pathfinder, initiator and trailblazer, someone who is willing to take the initiative for change.  A pioneer is someone who is willing to stand up and be counted, someone who is willing to take a risk for the benefit of others.  A pioneer is someone who is not willing to simply ‘survive’ or settle for the ‘status quo’ but someone who sees beyond limitations, challenges and life circumstances.

If I were to ask you: what’s wrong with the world?  You would have something to say.  As Tim Keller, the Pastor and Author, observes ‘it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that there is something fundamentally wrong with the world!’

My question to you this week is this:  What are you doing about it? 

There are different ways we all respond to culture:  we can conform/copy it...we can complain or critique it...or we can create and change it.

 

Jesus was a pioneer, He didn’t conform or complain about the culture around Him, but instead He changed it.  He was a culture creator.  He wasn't willing to sit around, complain about society and then carry on with His life. 

 

I believe that we all have the ability and potential to change the world we live in, no matter how big or small that change might be.  Maybe it starts with the way you think, or the way you speak.  Or maybe it’s launching a new project or initiative for the benefit of your town or city.

Whatever it is for you…let me encourage you to go and tread a new path.

Go and be a Billy Beane.  Go and write your own story.

www.thristcafe.com 

New Year...new you?

New Year Blog (OK so I'm a few weeks late!)!

So as 2012 closed a new chapter opened…

I’m currently in Starbucks enjoying a free cup of coffee whilst reflecting on 2012 and thinking about what 2013 holds.

2012 was a great year for Amy and I – one that was challenging, fun and exciting!  We relaxed on holiday I Malaga, I started a new training course at work and it saw the continued progress of the Youth Café (www.thirstcafe.com) that we are launching.

However for me the year can be summed up in one word…Joash!  Our son was born on 4^th November 2011 and is now 14 months old!  2012 was a year of us growing into parenthood and learning what it means to be a mother and a father.  It’s been quite a journey and one that has really challenged and changed us.  It’s been tiring, confusing and hard work but above all it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done! 

As I look forward to 2013 I’m wondering what is in store for us as a family, collectively and individually.  It’s at this time of the year that I will set myself several goals for the year whilst reviewing lasts years goals.

People often baulk at the thought of another failed New Year’s resolution but in my opinion they are great things - a chance to challenge yourself to grow and become a better person.  Why wouldn’t someone want to do that?!

For me goals work because that help me to stay focused and give me something to aim at. 

The Bible says that ‘without vision people perish’ and I wonder if you’ve set yourself a goal(s) for the year. 

 

If you've set yourself some goals for the year what are they?  And more importanlty...four weeks into the New Year...are you still working towards these goals?

Racism.

The England under 21s football team played Serbia last night in a very important qualifying game in which England won 1-0 and thereby qualified for the Euro 2013.

However the result, and qualification was overshadowed by some horrific scenes at the final whistle. 

As the England players and officials celebrated, they were attacked by their Serbian opponents and racially abused by the home fans. You can read more about the incident here.  It makes hard reading.

So why am I blogging about this?  racism

Firstly I think it's disgusting that people are still abused because of their colour.  As a Christian I believe that God made each one of us in His own image (Psalm 139) and made us to be the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8, Zech 2:8).  Galatians 3 makes it very clear that we are all equally valuable before God and means that if your balck, white, gay, straight, rich or poor...God loves you and accepts you just as you are. 

As I have come to know God in greater and deeper ways, His heart is changing mine and this is why when I see scenes such as we saw in Serbia last night I'm overcome with anger, sadness and compassion.  Just as He is. 

Secondly, I want us to remember that this is bigger than football.   Many people who read about the game will simply say 'that's football yobs for you.'  However I hate this attitude.  Not only does that put me, as a football fan in a bracket, it also displaces the real issue.  It's like saying that football is the problem and not racism. 

Let me ask you this, if you removed football from Serbia would there still be incidents of racist behaviour?  Of course there would.

This is far bigger than football.  This is a culture, a nation clearly struggling with some degree of racial hatred lingering in it's roots.  Before Euro 2012 (hosted in Poland and Ukraine this year) Panorama did a programme exposing some of the issues in this part of Europe and the programme can be seen here.  Essentially I want encourage us to not make this about football, but rather to make it about the need for change in nations such as Serbia, Poland and Ukraine.

But the big question is how?  How do we do this?  How do we implement change on such a scale?

What do you think?

Personally, I do not think this is done through hatred or revenge.  It's done through education, love and example.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

The Church: Serving the poor

In my blog entitled ‘Pinky and the Brain’ I spoke of the three main purposes of the Church; to worship God, to bless the believer and to serve this lost and broken world. I’ve been stirred to ask myself ‘how am I fulfilling the purposes to which I have been called to?’ Today I want to look at how I’m reaching out to the needy and broken in my society:

God is really stirring me about this one lately.  I’ve been reading a book by Tim Keller called Ministries of Mercy - it is a dense book that has taken me months to digest, study and learn from.  It is jam packed with great wisdom about how we as a Church are called to love the lost, serve the broken and help the disadvantaged and has challenged by heart. 

Who are the poor?  They are those who are disempowered from making the choices that God wants them to make and this isn’t always about money or materials. This may include people who are physically disempowered through sickness and disease or those who are disempowered through circumstances that have happened to them.  It may include those who are spiritually disempowered and trapped in addiction or unbelief or it may include those who are emotionally disempowered through depression and low self esteem. 

For me my passion is for those who are relationally disempowered.  This is often overlooked when thinking about the poor but as a Church we should be aiming to serve those who are lonely, those who struggle to make friends, those who have no family to rely on and those who are marginalised by society. 

Those of you who know me, know that I have a big heart for young people and I believe that in our culture, media and society, young people are being disempowered.  This generation has been labelled as the lost generation.  They have been written off.  University fees have become a stumbling block to further education and self improvement, the Anti-Social behaviour act has helped to criminalise a generation and large scale unrest by the minority (such as the London riots) have caused them to be labelled as rebellious and unruly.

In my own town of Bishops Stortford, Young People are pushed to the fringes of the community.  They congregate in groups in the dark places in our town (car parks and fields) out of everyone’s way.  They instigate their own rules and live up to the reputation that society has given them.  This is not what God wants for the Young People of Bishosp Stortford.

For me I want to serve the young people of Bishops Stortford better than we are and that is why we are looking to launch a Youth Cafe in the town.  Thirst (www.thirstcafe.com) will be a warm, friendly, funky environment where young people can come and be themselves, find security and simply chill out.  It will be a place right in the middle of the town centre for all to see (76 South Street is the venue we are trying to secure the lease on) and it will be a place that looks to honour, love and bless the young people of Bishops Stortford.

Young people are my passion and I could talk about them all day…but what’s yours and what are you doing about it?  The bottom line is this; we’re called to serve the poor so let’s do it.  Find your passion…find your gifting and go for it.

I’ll finish with a quote from Bill Wilson: When people care more for themselves than the people around them, society beings to crumble.  My question this week is this:  Are we more concerned about ourselves or about others? 

What if the 'Big Show' wasn't God's idea?

Every year I lead a team of 20 leaders and 50 young people to an amazing event called Newday!  It's a similar event to Soul Survivor and the like and over 7000 people gather with the sole purpose to engage with God and be changed by Him and for Him.  Last year 305 young people made a first time committment to follow Jesus...it truly is an amazing week.

However last year I got into a big discussion with some of our young people about whether or not lighting...staging...and amplification actually helped or hindered our worship?  It was an interesting discussion but we ultimately disagreed with the young people thinking it was a help while I felt it might in fact hinder true worship!  For me it's not about how it 'feels' but rather is it inline with scripture? 

Yesterday I read this article and it stirred in me the same thoughts that I had during the discussion at Newday. 

Give it a read and let me know what you think...is the 'Big Show' a help or a hinderance?

MURDER!!

I love to follow the news but it is often hard to keep up to date with all that is going on and that is why my home page on my internet explorer is ‘The Week’…a website and magazine that takes all the weeks notable news and condenses it into small bite sized information so that you can capture all the weeks interesting information in half the time!  As I logged on to it today, two stories leaped out at me:

The first was a story about a Colombian drug trafficker called Griseblda Blanco known as the “queen of cocaine.”  It was being reported that she had shot dead by two gunmen as she left a butcher’s in Medellin, Colombia.  She was 69.  In the 1970s and 80s she was at the centre of the cocaine trade in New York and Miami, reportedly making $8m a month and responsible for the murders of numerous rivals.  One of the investigating officers almost justified the killing when he said these words: 'When you kill so many and hurt so many people like she did, it’s only a matter of time before they find you and try to even the score.’

The second was a story about Andrew and Tracey Ferrie who shot and injured two out of the four burglars who had broken into their home.  They were arrested by police on suspicion of causing GBH.  Their local MP has thrown his hat in the ring by defending the couple’s actions as ‘just.’

The reason that these two stories stood out for me is that they both essentially justified violence.  They both say that revenge is ok.  They both teach us that an eye for eye is ok.

As a society do we really believe that?  Do we really think that if some assaults my wife I should be able to assault theirs?  Of if someone steals from me I’m aloud to steal from them? 

In fact in the case of Mr and Mrs Ferrie they upped the stakes…they were stolen from but they repaid their loss by causing GBH.

The Bible does say ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’ in the Old Testament but what many people seem ignorant of is that Jesus actually redefined many things about life in the New Testament.  About these words He actually said:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Don’t hear what I’m not saying.  I personally believe that there can be such a thing as a just war.  There are times when authority needs to be fought against.  If a regime is oppressive and violent, then I do believe they need to be stopped. 

However I do find it very sad whenever I hear about people being killed as a punishment for their behaviour.  I may be alone on this one but when Saddam Hussein was hanged I was saddened.  When Osama Bin Laden was killed I didn’t rejoice.  Not because these people don’t deserve justice, they do.  Quite simply because I can’t agree with the attitude that killing someone, or indeed injuring someone for a crime or a wrong doing is ever right.

The gospel is this:  I sinned against God.  This sin was worse than burglary or drug trafficking and the punishment was death.  But God loved me so much that He sent someone else, Jesus Christ, to die in my place so that my sins and wrongdoings can be forgiven.

I’m not saying that we should just overlook people’s crimes…but I don’t think it is our job to decide when someone’s life should be ended, especially when basing this upon their actions.  I think our job, as the Church, is to imitate Christ: to love unconditionally, without prejudice and not based upon a person’s actions but looking at their hearts.

I’m so grateful God didn’t treat me as my actions deserved.